Abject apologies I just climbed out from under my rock and realised I have not updated this since they let me out! You would not believe how heavy that rock really is. Stupid Global Warming!
I am out of it with sleeping my way to the top, watching the grass grow, just generally being Snow White to anyone unfortunate to cross my path, my day sprawls from midday to sun down and beyond. I am plotting and planning. can't they see I am blogging.
I was banned from one of the most hateful (and most entertaining) places on the internet. Now, I don't know what to feel about being banned. I do know that I feel extremely bored. My ban lifts on the 9th and until then, I still haven't had anything even remotely entertaining to do besides watching episodes of Daria or HIMYM.
Before getting banned, I would lurk everyday that I was home. I'd promise myself I wouldn't lurk for more than, oh say, an hour. But of course everyone knows that an hour on the internet's bunghole so to speak can turn into 3 to 4 hours of trolling, flaming and complaining about "newfags". So I guess I can say getting banned was a good thing for me. I've come up with a list of what I've been able to accomplish instead of lurking all night after a whole day of well, boredom too.
1. I can draw again! (being able to draw is of course a matter of opinion, I think I'm not doing that bad, though, I might be mistaken)
2. I'm gaining weight. Now I'm not entirely sure if this is a good thing, but so far, my boobs are looking pretty good.
3. I read 2 out of the 6 books I've borrowed and bought for the summer. I only got around to reading them after I was banned :|
4. Practiced my french, and my French
5. Yo practiqué mi español
6. I came up with a plan to keep me writing everyday!
over 9000. I've been catching up on the news. Ian Barry has balls. Props to him for being able to stand up for what he believes in. We have yet to see if his methods have proven effective or otherwise. Plus, DUDE HE LIT UP IN FRONT OF EVERYONE IN SCHOOL. That is just -- I am just -- My God. [applause with a lone tear down my cheek] If I were his dad, I'd be proud that he had balls. It's the guts to do what you think is right that counts, and not whether what he did was completely mental.
8. I've rediscovered StumbleUpon --- this is another one of my internet geek addictions I'm afraid.
9. Found more places to lurk >:)
It's amazing what 3 days of being banned can do to you. Also, I found this interesting comic, Diesel Sweeties.
Reading over what I just wrote...
Asia (duh me), GET A LIFE.
Look: it's a horse
I declare solemnly that when the weather turns bad, I will blog more often. Well, I'll try. Until my paycheck dawneth.
SHOT! reference for those of you who have been living under rocks: Six Days DJ Shadow ft Mos Def . I was listening to that song when I actually decided to convert the potential energy in my fingers to kinetic and constructive energy.
Situation
I havent written anything in soooo long. My fingers have been itching for the continuous clickity clack of my keyboard which sounds much more musical when i'm blogging than when i'm doing rewrites for a measly twenty to thirty pesos. (Twenty to thirty philippine pesos is equivalent to just one large order of Mickey D's fries.)
Generation
"have you ever been fake for the sake of saving face? ... Doesn't matter what they say" -CIWWAF. Fucking long band name that is. I've generated this new ideal. I mean well Im trying not to care too much about what other people are talking about. I've been such a willing ear for needless gossip and i want to remedy that. Plus I really don't think participating much in whatever's the flavor of the insert-period-of-time-here is a good way to waste time. Wasting time is also not a good way of wasting time, in fact, time should not be wasted, get naked. Which brings me to the subject of saving face. I say to hell with IMAGE AND REPUTATION! Im actually kind of confused right now cause this morning i was thinking about building this image to get what I want, right. anyway, right now I'm into NOT CARING so yeah. It's much easier not too, and it gives you less stress. Plus it provides you with unwilling sources of entertainment when you start walking around in your underwear with your crack airing itself out for the whole universe to see (Just like this girl from my community service class thing we have for school who kept showing everyone her HooHOo --- fine, well not her HooHoo per se, but well pull it down a few millimeters and you strike gold baby). ANYWAY i digress, i have generated this ideal of not caring as much as others do. It actually clashes with my boyfriend's ideals because he's all about image, so I've found a way to reconcile the two contradicting ideals we both have. I shall become a potato or a cucumber. hur. thing is, you can keep trying to please everyone around you, but people will talk shit if they want to and you can't stop that. Who are you really living for anyway? These assholes, your classmates and disposable friends who youre probabaly going to lose contact with in a few years or less or yourself? Reading Wanted comics really supports what Im going for right now. BTW side note: the movie although great, was not as bad ass as the comic, man.
Escalation
Which leads me to my next brain fart, these constant arguments between me and my Jedi have been really getting to me. Stupid me stupid me. But man, i think I can relate to Alyssa in Chasing Amy.
Disclaimer: I do not experiment, K?
Holden: They used you!
Alyssa: No! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn't wanted to? Do you? I was an experimental girl for Christ sake! Maybe you knew from early on your track was from point A to be, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, you and I, got together and suddenly I was satisfied!
This kind of conversation is on a constant rerun during arguments. I AM NOT AT ALL AS SEXUALLY EXPERIMENTAL AS SHE WAS OKAY. yeah im defensive. AND I DO NOT SLEEP AROUND though some of you might think so. I'm just vocal, alright. I put into words what you people think about in your little heads. But like her, I do have a past that bothers my present. I wish my man could just see what Silent Bob saw before. Here's an excerpt from the movie, this was after Silent Bob was telling Holden about his ex girlfriend's escapades:
Silent Bob: So, I'm totally weirded out by this, right? And I just start blastin' her. Like I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by callin' her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm-I'm out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I'm like, "What the fuck is your problem?", right. And she's just all calmly tryin' to tell me like it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. I'm like, "Oh, really?" That's when I look her strait in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk.
Jay: Fucking-A.
Silent Bob: No, idiot. It was a mistake. I wasn't disgusted with her, I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small - like-like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saayin'? But, what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was - she was looking for me, for-for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But, I pushed her away. So I've spent every day since then chasing Amy... So to speak.
Devastation
I just want all these arguments to end because its really putting a downer on me, and Ive been trying to be strong. I want to make him happy. I know what Im doing, and I really want to be with him, and it devastates me to think that he doesn't believe in my love for him.
Separation
Okay, setting that aside, I am awesome. i just had to say this, because i believe in the ego diet.
Dissipation
In the time I've taken to write down that first paragraph I have also simultaneously finished upgrading my village on Tribal Wars. I'm a geek that way, alright? Anyway yeah i miss blogging. I haven't had much time to get these things in my head unfangled and untangled. Right now, I'm listening to Cute is What We Aim For's Do What You Do from their album Rotation. Anyway, last week, best happy time ever with Jed. The clash playing in the Background. I Fought The Law upped the ante and served its purpose as the soundtrack to our little tryst. Right now, I think we're good. I mean yeah we're good, but we're still working on our problems.
Anyway, I really want to know what to do with my life, and I'm trying to figure it out slowly. One thing's for sure, I know who I want to be with. That's probably what a typical MySpace emo teen wristslasherXXXXX might say but hell, im 18, allow me my drama.
I blog (ibiza) because I'd like to think that A) there are in fact still a few people interested in reading about what's been going on with me and B)that my blogs waste your time. HA! i have stolen your time. LABO. My SUPERWEEK started with my SUPERWEEKEND on FRIDAY, jed's birthday. We hung out here in merville (ibiza) doing absolutely nothing and looking like fools. saturday was with Pam, Nine, Kikay, Caloy, Bea + my brother. Same night as Jed's beerday bash. got super hammerrrrrrrred. hammered with BEER not nailed! okay?
okay. okay. MONDAY SAW ALL MY LOVES AGAIN! ♥ Saw the yellow man. GOLD pala I mean. beautiful. this is the golden boy:
Jed got the itching to watch Hitman, went to Groinbelt to learn that Hitman does not (ibiza)show till the 21st of this month. very nice of him to check in advance. we ended up watching beowulf. THEY SHOWED JOLIE'S NIPPLE!! in the end. hahaha it was funny because, well I'm weird that way. the graphics were woooooooow. Rothgar's (anthony hopkin's) nosehair looked so reallll!! it made me feel sorry for the Enteng Kabisote. which i plan to actually go see one of these days. THURSDAY i waited for my carpool that was supposed to pick me up at 5 but i ended up waiting with Iya and Ansel until 8! 8!!!! I was out by 2. Then today, FUR-eye-day, supposed to go to the dentist but it got cancelled so me and Jed went to Gringo-belt (ibiza)again and watched SupahBAHD. superbad. super. it was okay. the heavy dude with the tits did not really look like he was still in high school. It was a fun fun fun day! FUN WEEK :)
Which brings me to my next thought, this week was sooooo (ibiza) nice I bet that something bad's gonna happen to me soon. That's usually the case for me. I have rotten luck, you see. NOW tomooooorrrroooooow I dont know what to do.