I feel like i've been living someone else's life for the past year and half. I've lost myself and everything I stood for. I've lost sight of everything I used to believe in. When you're with someone with a personality that rivals your own in intensity, there is a tendency for you to let go of the grasp you once held on reality.
you forget that you used to not care how wild you could be
you forget how much liquoryou were actually capable of holding
you forget that you like being alone on sundays and relaxing
you forget that you like hanging out with different, strange and often scary but interesting people
you forget that you like waking up early in the morning (which is now impossible because of all the late night phone calls and arguments)
you forget that you never feel guilty when you flirt playfully with other boys
you forget that you don't care about the time when you're out on the town
you forget that you like taking adventures in trains without having to tell anyone where you are
you forget that you once liked going for walks
you forget that you once liked hanging out with your friends who may not have always been or ever will be good influences but a hell of a lot of fun
you forget that you, yourself were once fun
you were the life of the party
you were the center of the universe
now you're just a plain old girl. With nothing, no one. You've forgotten what you used to tell yourself: "live like it's your last day on earth, no regrets" you've forgotten that when you love, you love with a flourish of passion and drama - which he has quelled to a dull throb in your chest - almost painful, almost sore.
You've forgotten who you are. You used to believe in so many things. You used to believe in life and not choice, acting and not waiting, believing in everything, falling (in every sense of the word) and not stumbling into love.
What has happened to you? You fell, you fumbled, don't change. Don't let go of the last remnants of your once sad, yes, meager, yes, but true life. Stop masquerading as someone's perfect girl. Stop trying to please. Stop demanding. Stop arguing. Stop fighting. Just go with it. Stop crying. Stop being such a pussy. Stop being a woman. Puff up that chest. Don't give in. Find a hobby. Forget regret.
Feel lucky that you were able to experience this. But learn and move on.
We have no one to live for but ourselves and each other.