RIP Ana Cunanan
My classmate in senior year just recently passed away. Cardiac arrest. Someone told me that she always knew she would die. How does someone handle that? You know, the knowledge of his/her own impending death? I woulndt know what I would do. Well, the obvious things would come first, like doing everything I cold before my time runs out, like streaking in a public area, sky diving or even swimming in a tub of spaghetti a la Patch Adams, I'd probably tell everybody I was going to die soon, an that we should celebrate everything we could before I did. But then I'd also choose to keep it a secret too. It would be weird knowing that people were treating you the way they do because they knew you'd bite the dust pretty soon. I think I'd prefer living the rest of my life normally sans special treatment.
Anyway, cause of this, I've been thinking a lot about the decisions I have made. Including my dating decisions. I really like the guy I'm going out with now, but then Jed and I were getting pretty serious. Am i a fool for wanting to take a breather from such a relationship? I mean I really don't know. I'm not supposed to be worrying about stuff like this yet. I'm barely 18!
I wish I could just live in ignorance and not know what's good for me.
I hate being given choices. I'd rather just accept my fate and deal with it than have freedom to choose and have to hurt someone.
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